ten.

I wish I was thoughtful.
I wish I was lovely.
I wish I was amazing.
I wish I was joyful.
I wish I was humorous.
I wish I was kind.
I wish I was nice.
I wish I was funny.
I wish I was confident.
I wish I was artistic.
I wish I was pretty.
I wish I was a methodical thinker.
I wish I was pleasant on the eyes.
I wish I was a good person.

thank you for all your words,
but
I'm none of those things.

I am...nice a bad person.
I can...draw never be a saint.
I will...be able to draw hands one day always be a sinner.

"ugh, look at her. she was happy one minute ago. she can't be depressed. she's such a fake."
"how hard is it to describe yourself? seriously? she's just fishing for attention."
"god, I can't stand her. she's just pretending to be depressed."

I just...
I can't.

not when you're right there.
I'm already bad enough.
whatever I say will just make it worse.

"I am..."

why don't you finish that sentence for me?