Friday, 7 April 2017

twenty four.

hey.
how are you?
we haven't talked in a while.
well, not properly, anyway.

recently, I've stopped.
thinking.
crying.
about you.

it's for the best, right?
after all,
things change.
feelings fade.
the more I meddle with your life,
the worse it gets.
and you don't deserve that.

I doubt I'm still anything to you.
except somebody you used to know.
maybe you even hate me.
but that's fine.
it was bound to happen.

I'm not sad.
at least, I don't think so.
maybe somewhere in the back of my mind,
I'm still hoping for things to go back.
to how they used to be.

so what am I living for now?

hope. I lived off it.
the hope you gave me used to be everything.
you were everything.
maybe you still are.
even now, I'm still stupidly hoping.

why did I put you up on a pedestal?
I know you hate this side of me.
I hoped that...maybe you wouldn't.
but you're like everyone else.
so why did I care so much?

this mind of mine won't get me anywhere.
no matter where I go,
no matter who I meet,
everyone will be the same.

so what's the point of living?

I don't really know.
I don't think there's any point,
since everyone hates me so much.

I wonder how long I'll live.

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