nineteen.

the feeling of falling apart
is not the worst
even if
the world is spinning
and the storm threatens to tear you to pieces

the feeling of wanting to die
is not the worst
even if
you're crying
and there seems to be no end to this sadness

the worst feeling
is receiving hope
a glimmer
spark
(flowers)
in the form of smiles
words

and then
having it taken away from you
jerked from you
torn
ripped
shredded

and gone.